In continuation of our online series of testimony of answered prayers, Hadassah shares how God answered her prayer for marriage restoration.
Hadassah is the pen name of Anna Putz, an aspiring writer working on her spiritual memoir, a marketing specialist, a blogger and a bilingual poet. She writes a blog onthewaybg to encourage the readers to keep moving in the journey of faith and walk deeper with God. She is a Bulgarian living in Austria with her husband. She loves diving deeper in the Word of God and enjoys reading and travelling.
Do you pray for your marriage? I did and I still do.
I want to encourage you and share my journey of answered prayer for marriage restoration.
It is a long journey of faith, dying to self, perseverance, patience, and learning to trust God’s promises more than we trust our circumstances.
This was just one of many nights when I was lying in bed awake, tears streaming down my face. I heard the breathing of my husband in his corner of the bed, peacefully sleeping, not aware of my pain. It’s not supposed to be this way, I thought.
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Marriage is not supposed to be this way. I remembered how wonderfully promising our love and marriage had started. Then after the death of my mother-in-law, the fabric of our relationship changed. My husband fell into the pit of depression, starting to add layers of isolation to his soul and body.
Then another crisis hit. I wanted to have children but felt that we were on different pages, far away in our worlds.
Month after month the alienation deepened. I felt alone, abandoned and rejected as a wife and a woman. I was devastated and desperate.
Bitterness, anger, and resentment were filling my heart. Quarrels or cold silence ruled our days. Our marriage was dying. But God…
The First Answer to My Prayer for Marriage Restoration
I started to seek God intensely and pour out my heart to Him, praying that He restores my marriage and my husband.
My husband was not a believer, so this spiritual gap between us was also a source of sadness and anguish.
I developed the daily habit to read and study the Bible, journaling verses and my thoughts and prayers, listening to the specific message of the Holy Spirit. In my deepest anguish of an abandoned woman, God spoke to me with Isaiah chapter 54.
Through these words, God helped me to shift my focus from my husband as a source and satisfier of my needs of being unconditionally loved, wanted, pursued and adored, towards God as my husband, best friend and the ultimate satisfier of my primary needs, and as the source of my blessings.
It felt so deeply revolutionary and scandalous to see God as my husband, as the ultimate provider and the One who meets my needs.
To accept and respond to this intimate invitation was God’s way to help me deal with my husband’s rejection, giving me the freedom and the ability to love him back without the burden of placing my expectations on him.
Expectations that he was not able to fulfill.
Date Night Ideas to spice your relationship.
God’s Co-Workers in the Process of Restoration
I was learning to weave my heart and thoughts around God’s promises of restoration.
In the months and years that followed God was strengthening my heart with His word, sustaining, comforting and purifying.
I became aware of one very important biblical principle – our calling to be co-workers of God in the business of restoration, not just passive recipients of answered prayers without responsibility.
No, I also had a very important part to play.
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And this was not trying to change my husband’s heart and behavior or coercing him to change. Anyway, even I wanted, I could not do this.
If I wanted a change in my husband and marriage, I needed to allow God to change me. The restoration starts with me.
I needed to submit my rights and take responsibility for my heart attitudes, words, and actions.
In His Word God defines our main responsibility and assignment clearly: to abide in Him, follow Him every day, obey Him, and love the people in our lives.
I needed to take responsibility for my heart trusting God to make the change in my husband’s heart.
I needed to take responsibility for my heart trusting God to make the change in my husband’s heart. @onthewaybg #TestimoniesOfFaith #AllRoundJesus Share on XPerseverance in Prayer
Years passed by. Our relationship and conflicts seemed to get even worse.
It was difficult to keep trusting God with my marriage. I got diagnosed with infertility and started to have panic attacks.
At the bottom of my deepest pit, I did not stop praying, trusting that God knows what He is doing to bring restoration and change.
Sometimes things need to be shaken and destroyed first before the re-building starts.
In this special season of waiting the boundaries of my faith were stretched and tested.
I was learning to hold on and persevere despite the discouraging circumstances.
How well do you know your partner? Answer this.
Our Suffering is Not in Vain
In one moment of desperation, God spoke to me with this verse:
“Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever – no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother.” (Philemon 1:15)
Perhaps the reason my husband was separated from me for a little was that I might have him back forever – no longer as a husband, but even better than that, as a dear spiritual brother in Christ!
I longed for God to erase the separating spiritual lines and sets a new foundation for our marriage.
God was inviting me to see our separation in the last five years and my suffering as something temporary, as the price for which I could have him back forever.
My suffering and pain were not in vain.
By the grace of God, the pain would give birth to something new and good.
The name Philemon attracted also my attention and was amazed to learn that besides the meaning of “who kisses” and “affectionate”, the name means “he who shows kindness when he himself is mistreated”.
God had acknowledged that I was mistreated. Nevertheless, he was calling me to show kindness and be a Philemon to my husband.
The Answered Prayer for Marriage Restoration
I became more aware of the gradual change in my husband. As I imagined him as a fruit that had been growing and now was reaching the point to be completely ripe and ready to be plucked.
I prayed that the Holy Spirit turns his sorrows into repentance, bringing him to a new beginning and life with God.
There was no need to preach. I said in the last years everything I needed to say.
My life and the changes in me were his living sermon and proof for God’s love and His transformative power. I was his living manifestation of God’s grace.
On the 7th year after I started earnestly to seek God and to pray for the restoration of our marriage my husband surrendered himself and his life to God, accepting by faith forgiveness and justification in Jesus Christ. We both knew that a dramatic, invisible, irreversible shift took place.
We were experiencing both birth and resurrection – of my husband, of our hopes and marriage.
God is Faithful and He Answers Our Prayers
Some seven years ago, I thought this would be the most improbable and impossible thing to happen.
I wanted it, I prayed for it, but I could not see a chance.
But God was faithful and He answered my prayer for marriage restoration according to these words:
“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)
It took a lot of brokenness and pain, and tons of God’s grace to change, me, my husband and our marriage. But it was worth it.
My life and the changes in me were his living sermon and proof for God’s love and His transformative power. @onthewaybg #TestimoniesOfFaith #AllRoundJesus Share on X
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this intimate part of you and your marriage. I’m sitting at work right now, tears streaming down my face as I read your post. 💗 I can resonate with so many aspects of your story. It’s so hard to change our own hearts first, but it’s so necessary. Thank you again for sharing!
May God be praised forever! If this testimony touched just one person then it is all worth it. That is the purpose of this online even on Testimonies of faith and answered prayers.
Am not yet married but am suoer encouraged. May God’s grace be your portion forever.
Amen. And I pray that when the time comes, God will give you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.
I am so thankful for this opportunity to share my testimony here! Amanda, it is great that my testimony spoke to you in this way! God is really amazing and He can do so much more than we ask or imagine! There is nothing impossible with Him. I pray that hearts will be encouraged and drawn to Him by reading all these testimonies of faith!
Thank you so much for sharing your story of restoration and answered prayer.I like the way you point outthat restoration has to begin in our own hearts. I appreciate your honesty and encouragement.
Oh yes, been there, done that! I can’t tell you the number of nights I prayed for God to change my husband, but God’s answer was, “You first!” And then He began a work in me. It’s been so encouraging to see how my growth and maturing as a Christian has changed my marriage even when my husband doesn’t want to change. God’s way is so good to remind us that we are ultimately serving and loving Him when we love our spouses. My marriage is better than it was, but I am still praying for greater restoration. I know God will continue to be faithful.
Amen. As long as we’re in this body we will experience imperfections and same will apply to our marriages.
Perfection is a journey.
Thank you so much for this testimony. I needed to read this today and I will bookmark it to read again.
I am so glad this testimony has inspired you today.
Although i am not married, I am believing God for marital. testimony this year. Thank you for this your wonderful testimony, I pray that God will give me the grace and mind to build my home when i finally enter.
Amen. I join my faith with yours.
I am battling the same challenge but this testimony has really encouraged me a lot to trust in the Lord more
Your testimony is so encouraging. I can relate on many levels. Thank you for sharing. I am encouraged to continue praying for my marriage.