How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Silence the Inner Critic

If you want to get ahead and achieve all you were meant to do in life, then you must overcome self-doubt and silence the inner critic.

What is Self-Doubt?

Self-doubt is a lack of confidence in your abilities and actions, this is brought about by the negative voice in your head. It’s the inner critic that’s always hounding you with tales of why you can’t excel. The voice of self-doubt is the voice always pointing out your flaws and putting holes in your dreams.

This inner critic if entertained will seize every chance you have to be the best you. It is continually churning out reasons why you can’t succeed in your chosen endeavor.

Whether you want to get a new job, start a new business, make a sales pitch or compete at a sport, whatever you want to do; that inner voice giving you reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t is self-doubt. And that voice needs to be silenced!

Don’t get me wrong, a small measure of self-doubt may be beneficial in helping you identify your flaws but when it gets out of hand, it is debilitating.

While you’re dreaming up new ideas to get to the next level, the inner critic is responding with uncountable reasons why not! It gives you reasons why your idea is bad, why no one will like it and why you shouldn’t do it.

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Self-doubt is not peculiar to you

Self-doubt is not peculiar to you; the bible has rightly said that our temptations are not uncommon.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

You are not the only one who has experienced self-doubt, we all experience self-doubt at one point or the other in life.

The story of the children of Israel on their way to the promised land readily comes to mind. God’s servant Moses had sent out twelve men to spy the land of Canaan.

Twelve men representing each of the tribes in Israel went to Canaan as directed and, they saw that the land was good. It was a land flowing with milk and honey and very fruitful; they brought back grapes, pomegranates and figs. In other words, they had a successful proof of concept (POC).

And they came to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation of the people of Israel in the wilderness of Paran, at Kadesh. They brought back word to them and to all the congregation, and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 And they told him, “We came to the land to which you sent us. It flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit (Numbers 13:26-27 ESV)

They spied out the land, brought back fruits, and verified that the land was good. From that perspective, it was confirmed that the land God had in mind for them was good.

God had instructed Moses to nominate men from each of the tribes to go on that expedition. We were not told why God gave that instruction, but it’s unlikely that He wanted to fuel self-doubt.

It is possible God gave them a sneak peek preview to boost their confidence and faith in His plans for them.

Sadly, that was not the case, as ten of the twelve men came back with the report of their inner critic. Ten men came back with a negative report, they acknowledged indeed that the land was good and flowing with milk and honey.

But somewhere during that journey, the inner critic had opened their eyes to all the ways they were “less than”.

And by the time they got back to the camp, they had lost the zeal to go in and possess the land.

In fact, their inner critic had wrecked their confidence so much that they had no struggle transferring their fears to the populace.

Then the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are.” 32 So they brought to the people of Israel a bad report of the land that they had spied out, saying, “The land, through which we have gone to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. 33 And there we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak, who come from the Nephilim), and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them.” ( Numbers 13:31-33)

That was how the voice of the inner critic suppressed the voice of Joshua and Caleb. Those two came back with a good report of the land and believed they could possess it. But they were silenced by the voice of self-doubt from ten men.

How to Recognize Self-doubt

Self-doubt could manifest in various forms; you think you don't deserve love, happiness, good things, the best in life, success, promotion, etc. But hey, you deserve it and much more. #overcomeselfdoubt #inferioritycomplex #selfdoubt… Click To Tweet

With self-doubt, you’re unsure of yourself and you may be scared to try something new.

You are afraid people won’t like what they see. You’re afraid to be vulnerable, you’re almost sure you will fail without having tried.

It is like the opposite of self-confidence. When you’re confident, you’re not afraid to try new things and step into the unknown.

3 Causes of self-doubt

1. Constant Criticism

Constant criticism can increase the voice of the inner critic. It may be because of your upbringing, maybe you had parents or family who didn’t hold back on criticism. Or you grew up among people who expected nothing less than perfection from you and would lash out over every little mistake you made. This could cause you to be overcome by self-doubt.

Growing up, I had a friend Tega (not her real name) who did poorly in school and would never answer a question in class. At first, I thought she was a dull kid but on getting closer to her, realized she was smart but had a high dose of self-doubt.

My finding then was that her mum always abused her and told her she would never amount to anything. Tega was told she will be flipping burgers or shining shoes at best. As a result, her inner critic took over and repeated those words to her over and over.

Till today, she’s shy and prefers not to be seen or heard.

This is a word of caution to parents, please don’t tear your children down, rather, correct them in love. 
Your duty as a parent is to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and show them love.

2. Fear of failure

Fear of failure could be due to past failures. It can cause self-doubt to spring up and become a monster if unchecked.

Have you ever heard the phrase “I’m no good”, “I never do anything right”, “I’m unlovable”?

It started from somewhere, maybe it was an expectation unfulfilled or a cumulation of past failures. Nobody likes to fail, but failure is not the end of the world. A good way to handle failure is to learn from it and feed forward to become better.

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3. Environmental factors

Self-doubt can arise based on the environment one finds themself. Some people develop self-doubt because they looked around and all they see is a negative pattern.  For example, Mary’s two sisters dropped out of college because they both got pregnant outside wedlock. Now, Mary who recently gained college admission is full of self-doubt. Her inner critic is telling her that she will end up as a dropout just like her two senior sisters. The result? She’s scared to go to college, she thinks she will also get pregnant. She drew inferences from what happened in her environment and was almost paralyzed by self-doubt until she decided to get help.

7 Tips for Overcoming Self-doubt and Believing in Yourself

1. Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself and have confidence in your own capabilities, this is one way to overcome self-doubt. If you have the fear of failure, make up your mind that failing is not the end of the world.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. (Micah 7:8 ESV)

Let the above scripture be your guide and know that failing is permitted but wanting to remain a failure is not permitted. Go ahead and venture out, try that new concept, who knows you might succeed but you won’t know if you don’t try.

To learn more about how to believe in yourself, read my post; believe in yourself and rise above limitations, like, share, subscribe and comment.

Overcome self-doubt by believing in yourself and being your own cheerleader. As the inner critic raises its voice with reasons why not, counter it with reasons why. #selfdoubtisreal #inferioritycomplex #overcomeselfdoubt #teacupclub Click To Tweet

2. Do your part, prepare well

Sometimes self-doubt is valid especially if the area you’re about to dabble into is not your area of strength. Naturally, you’d be doubtful, and rightfully so. The best way to silence the inner critic is to prepare yourself. When you’re well prepared, your confidence will be improved, and the inner critic will be silent. Preparation, as they say, is the mother of manifestation and that’s why I wrote this post on putting in effort. The post expounds on the need to make an effort if we want to be the best.

Seek knowledge, there’s no end to learning, acknowledge your shortcomings, and come up with a plan to bridge the gap.

3. Seek constructive feedback

Seeking feedback from trusted family, friends and colleagues is a good way to put your doubts in perspective. And it will help you separate baseless doubt from justifiable doubt.

For instance, I’ve had the mind of starting a blog for years, and I knew I could do it. But I wasn’t sure if my passion would be enough to sustain it. I sought feedback from my network of trusted family and friends and they validated what I had known all along.

Scripture says in the multitude of counsel there is safety.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14 ESV)

Receive feedback and feedforward in your endeavor.

4. Just do it!

Yes, just do it! Remove the limitations from your mind.

Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen?

What would be the impact of the worst happening, if it’s not something you can’t cope with, then just do it!

I did just that some years ago when I was to write a tough professional exam.

The exam was so tough that facilitators at the boot camp I attended, narrated stories of failure upon failure. Naturally, self-doubt kicked in and I was gripped by the fear of failure. But remember God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)

What did I do? I prayed, determined to put in my best, and sat for the exam not minding the outcome. Guess what? I passed (smiles) in flying colors and that certification continues to open doors of employment for me till today.

What if I had listened to my inner critic and never ventured? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Click here to read my post on how to pray and receive answers.

5. See yourself as God sees you

Another way to overcome self-doubt is to see yourself as God sees you. God sees you as blessed, righteous, successful, victorious, beautiful, talented, and much more.

There was a man in the bible who believed he was no good and said as much when God sent his angel to give him a message. Here’s what he said;

And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” (Judges 6:15)

Gideon believed he was the least in his father’s house and his clan the weakest. Here’s what God said about him;

And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.” (Judges 6:12)

He saw himself as the weakest and least, but God saw him as a mighty man of valor.

Love yourself and believe in yourself, see yourself in the light of God’s word and self-doubt will vanish.

6. Read motivational books

Read motivational books, subscribe to inspirational blogs such as mine, listen to inspirational speakers to overcome self-doubt. Doing this will help feed your mind with positivity.

Invest in yourself, work on your limitations, join a support group, and be inspired.

“Readers are leaders”. Follow other people’s success stories and let it ginger you to spring forward, and in time you will soar above the shackles of self-doubt.

7. Speak to yourself, remind yourself of how good you are

Another way to overcome self-doubt and silence the inner critic is to speak positively to yourself.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21)

Watch your utterances, quit validating the negative words of the inner critic. Rather tell yourself you can do it, you can arise, you can shine, it shall be well with you.

For with the heart, one believes and is justified, and with the mouth, one confesses and is saved. (Romans 10:10)

Let your confessions be positive and with time you will see it coming to pass.

Have you enjoyed reading this post, learned a thing or two, have what you previously re-validated, then spread the love. Spread the love by sharing the post on your social media handles, commenting, and liking my Facebook page.

And always remember that you are a Royal Diadem, Beautiful in God’s Hands.