Factors to consider before marriage

Important Factors to consider before saying “I do”

There are several factors to consider before marriage. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that can either make or mar you. Choosing the wrong partner may be the difference between fulfilling your God-given purpose and merely existing in life.

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There are several factors to consider when choosing a life partner and it’s important to fall in love with eyes and mind wide open. Don’t fall blindly in love! Because marriage will eventually open your eyes. When you meet a potential partner, get to know each other well before becoming committed. Too often when I ask intending couples salient questions about their partner-to-be, I’m surprised at their answer. They are unable to answer trivial questions about their intending spouse’s state of origin, culture, and family background. Yet they claim they’re in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

How can you claim to love somebody and not care to know important details about them?

It is good to get to know your intended well enough before deciding to tie the knot with them.

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Factors to consider before marriage (sneak peek)

First and foremost, you should know the basic things about them like their full name, state, current address, etc. As you see each other more, dig deeper for information about family background, cultures, family, personal and, religious values, etc.

You should also find out about their personal and family health history, genotypes, and all. I once met a mother of 3 with 2 of her children having sickle cell disease. She had to quit her job to care for the sick children and she was constantly in and out of the hospital. The situation eventually took a toll on her marriage and she admitted things were no longer rosy between her and her spouse.

The love that was once sizzling hot grew cold in the face of life’s realities.

Before you take that step and marry “your love”, check your compatibility health-wise. The decision you make today because you’re blindly in love may affect you and your unborn children in future. Be wise, listen to the voice of reason, listen to those who have traveled that road before you.

I’ve been married for over a decade and one thing I can categorically state is that marriage is not a bed of roses. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is wonderful when God is the foundation and you’re with the right person.

However, things can become awry when couples don’t have the resilience to weather life’s challenges. At some point, you will meet other people more good looking, smarter, more intelligent, better poised, richer, etc. than your spouse. What will keep you at such times are your understanding of marriage and the appreciation of the vows you made.

The Basis for Marriage

52 Uncommon Dates: A Couple’s Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together

The basis for marriage is companionship Gen 2:18 and procreation Gen 1:28.

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18

Marriage was and is God’s idea and institution. God instituted marriage for companionship so that we won’t be lonely and so that we can be fruitful and multiply.

For this reason, it is logical for anyone desiring to be married to seek guidance from the One who instituted marriage. He alone knows the bone that will fit ours. He knows each of us because He created us, therefore, he knows the best partner for us.

It is critical to seek God’s guidance in the place of prayer before choosing a life partner. In my previous post, I wrote about keys to praying and receiving answers to prayer. There’s a key to unlock every door in life, knowing, having, and using the right key makes the difference. To know how to receive guidance in the place of prayer, read the post.

Often when discussing with intending couples about seeking God’s face, their biggest concern is being able to discern God’s will. It’s always best to start in the place of prayer because God always answers prayer. To further buttress this, I wrote a post about biblical examples of people who prayed and received answers to prayer.

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In Gen 24:12 – 27, Abraham’s servant went on a mission to get a wife for his master’s son Isaac. However he knew that except God helps him on his mission, he may fail at the task, so he prayed. He prayed for God’s will to be revealed and he got his answer almost immediately. The Bible records in vs 15 that before he finished praying, Rebekah who was to become Isaac’s wife arrived. God answered Abraham’s servant speedily by making sure His intended wife for Isaac showed up at the right time.

He fulfilled his promise in Isa 65:24 by answering Abraham’s servant before he called.

Isaiah 65:24
And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.

The above promise was fulfilled because Rebekah appeared on the scene at the nick of time. This means God had known Abraham’s servant was going to pray and he sent answers ahead of the prayer. That was why there was no delay between when Abraham’s servant prayed and when he received answer.

Indeed God has promised to give us everything we ask for in the name of Jesus. Click here to view the post that talks about the importance of the name of Jesus.

So it is important to pray when seeking a life partner.

The process of marriage

Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage

Marriage doesn’t just happen, it is preceded by some processes such as dating and courtship.

There have been a lot of controversies about what constitutes dating and courtship. Some believe that dating involves fringe benefits such as being romantic and sleeping together. This has made dating to be frowned upon in Christian circles.

My understanding of dating is that 2 people are seeing each other for the purpose of getting to know each other. Note that it does not involve sexual intimacy because that’s reserved for marriage. After dating for a while, they would be able to determine if they want to go to the next level which is courtship.

Dating and #courtship period is the time for deep inquiry into the life of your intended. It’s not a period of wining and dining alone. It must be taken seriously and handled #prayerfully. #bloggerstribe #teacupclub Share on X

In courtship, they are not seeing anyone else, only their intended spouse. It means they have gone past the dating stage and have determined that the person they are courting is the most suitable of all the suitors. Then they begin to pray, study, and know each other more and prayerfully plan a future together. If at any point during dating or courtship, either of them decides they are unsuitable, they can go their separate ways. They are not yet married and therefore not bound to stick together. Better a broken courtship than a failed marriage.

The period of dating and courtship is therefore a period of deep inquiry into the life of your intended. It’s not a period of merely wining and dining, it’s a period that must be taken seriously and handled prayerfully.

In the next post, we will talk more about some of the values to consider before marriage.

See also, marriage supper of the Lamb.

Has this post touched you in any way? Please leave a comment down below.

Meanwhile, don’t forget you are a Royal Diadem, beautiful in God’s hands.